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I hear jokes about people pleasuring themselves with produce. Yes, people actually use cucumbers, carrots, zucchini and other long, hard veggies for insertion alone or with a partner — and I've even seen some of the coolest G-spot cucumbers while shopping the aisles of my local grocer. Some guys even use melons, like honeydew and cantaloupe, to screw with. While the veggie can't, or won't consent, nobody is actually harmed in the making of masturbation with fruits and veggies, and the most unsafe time to use the veggie would be in the supermarket before you buy it.
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Tips for Organic Masturbation (i.e. How to Have Sex With Vegetables)
Doctors Are Begging Men To Stop Masturbating With Banana Peels | Barstool Sports
Theoretically, porking a peach would feel near-heavenly. Unfortunately, the fruit envelopes a coarse pit and oceans of juice, which makes for a potentially painful and sticky experience, one that warrants immediate scrubbing. Truth of the matter is, there are better foods to stick your dick into. Together, these women and myself have carefully selected the finest foods to fuck.
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Doctors Are Begging Men To Stop Masturbating With Banana Peels
Diana Gill of prescription service DoctorU cautions against the perverse practice. Not only that, but she claims a person with a fruit or latex allergy could be more susceptible to a reaction from a banana skin. The site also provides a tutorial on how to perform the act and even advised warming the peel for added effect. Tell me not to jerk off into a banana peel.
Guys are basically having sex with actual garbage now, apparently. Having sex with a banana peel can cause rashes and, if you have a fruit or especially a banana allergy, the irritations could be even worse. Forget the doctors.